I just woke up from a dream about a man I was in love with in 1999. It felt sooo REAL. I wish it was ,,,
In the dream I was somehow at his place and we were speaking with each other like 20 years hadn’t passed…
He asked me if I wanted to go play pool. He asked me if I remembered the night we made love. I answered too quickly in the dream and said yes, like it was yesterday and immediately regretted saying that and wished that I had played hard to get like he was doing.
I could tell he liked me but he was being coy. He enjoyed seeing how expressive I was in revealing my attraction to him even after so many years.
I wrote about Synchronicity yesterday and mentioned that I met my soulmate. It was him that I was referring to. Unfortunately, he did not feel the same way.
The last week or so I started thinking about him again. He was the ultimate unattainable love which is my MO – Modus Operandi which means the way one operates at work or in a criminal investigation. In my case, it is the way in which I chose men to fall in love with. I fall in love with men that initially are chasing me while I am cool as a cucumber but then after we are intimate, all of a sudden the tables turn. I start chasing him and he is only partly available to me. It drives me crazy and I become passionately challenged by the situation.
Fortunately, I am currently not in this unhealthy pattern of love. They say that male authors’ mistress is writing. It is mine also.